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Simple as A-B-C-D

Since it is nearly time for students of all ages to embrace (OK, endure) a rite of passage known as final exams, I thought it might be appropriate in the spirit of community to provide a test for all ages. So take out a pen (make that a pencil, because it is really, really hard) and keep your eyes on your own paper.

Good luck (and no, you may not have a bathroom break):

1.) Sports writers are:



a) former athletes, for the most part

b) former tuba players, for the most part




c) simply amazing cooks

d) happy to sleep in cages, provided there is plenty of beer and the newspapers underneath are changed daily

2.) We write about sports because:

a) we love games

b) city council meetings give us hives (wait, someone just said that is normal)

c) it forces us to air out

d) have you ever worked retail between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

3.) Mother’s Day is:

a) a chance to honor the person who brought you into this world

b) a chance to honor the person who once or twice vowed to take you out of this world

c) a day for flowers, candy, and maybe something for mom, too

d) The Lakers winning … again

4.) This is an exciting time of year because:

a) it is once again high school playoff time

b) it is once again television’s season finale time

c) there are enough sports on television in May to not only exhaust every remote control battery in the house, but forever marry a fan’s backside to his or her Lazy Boy

d)school’salmostout,andlike,Iwon’thavetoreadANYTHINGforthreemonths,orwhatever

5.) Sacramento’s Chris Webber fouled out with Saturday’s playoff game on the line because:

a) that’s typical Webber

b) proper rest is important for the body

c) it gave him a chance to model his fashionable warmup jacket

d) it gave him a chance to tell Dallas fans what he really thought about the size of their cowbells

6.) Off the record means:

a) a person speaks to a journalist in confidence, usually for clarification, never for publication with that person named as the source

b) someone acts like they took a few too many blows to the head

c) well, don’t ask Connie Chung

d) the rather uncomfortable seat cushion I’m sitting on is actually your CD travel case

7.) A true deadline is:

a) deadline (duh!)

b) fifteen minutes after the last game result is called to us

c) twenty minutes after MY last story is written

d) a great excuse to get off the phone

8.) Sports writers never experience writer’s block because:

a) ummmmmmmm

b)

c)

d) Gimme a minute, I almost have it. Not just yet …


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