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A little levity on the links

John Renslow
Golf Columnist

Get Into Golf, being an interactive column, receives a number of funny stories in addition to your questions. Of course, only the best are reprinted and we acknowledge the sender, when possible. Enjoy.

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

“Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf.” (thank you, John Beneze)


A woman stood over her shot for what seemed like an eternity — looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed and driving her partner nuts.

Finally her exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball.”

The woman explains, “My husband is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Forget it, you don’t stand a chance of hitting him from here.”

One of the best things about this game is the element of humor. We aren’t perfect and it’s not a game of perfection. So, smile a lot, enjoy the game, and feel free to laugh at yourself (especially if everybody else is).

John Renslow is general manager and director of golf at Alta Sierra Country Club. Please contact John with your questions or comments at jrenslow@pga.com


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