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What planet is this?

I seem to have awakened on another planet. I found the newspaper in my box, just like always, but the letters to the editor were written by aliens. One of them even wanted to deport “illegal” aliens!

“Al-Qaida are here by the millions”! Millions! And they don’t love America! Can you imagine that? And America was founded at the close of the Dark Ages! Dang, on my planet there was a Rennaissance in there somewhere. Of course, those Rennies were probably liberals (h-a-w-w-w-k PTHEW!)

“Today we have an evil force, and its only aim is to plunge America back into the Dark Ages.” Double dang, those Rennie liberals (h-a-w-w-w-k PTHEW!) are still here, with millions of “Satan’s minions,” all ready to vote for the devil. “Wise up”! “Church bells are silenced and the Ten Commandments are removed by the ACLU”!



Another letter claims “some compassionate Democrats now realize that they have been deceived by Moore’s “documentary.” “[Kerry] and his fellow senators sat there frozen and indecisive for 34 minutes.” Ummm… Maybe senators don’t have the executive powers of the commander in chief, who was too engrossed in the child’s book he was reading?

Oh, I forgot. Alien planet…




Tony Finnerty

Grass Valley


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