Strange visit from wolf recalled |

Strange visit from wolf recalled

I had the strangest dream the other night. It began with a knock on my front door – when I opened the door, in leaped a wolf – a growling, frothing wolf that proceeded to chase me round and round my kitchen. Finally, when I found myself cornered and about to be devoured, I demanded, “Who are you?” “I,” said this fearsome beast, “I am God’s wolf” And he snapped his teeth hungrily. “But why are you chasing me?” I asked. “‘Cause you are one of them.” Oh dear, thought I, my past has caught up with me. “One of them?” I asked. The wolf convulsed with rage. “American” he howled – and angrily tore off about two pounds of his own fur. “Evil bad Christian nonbelieving rock ‘n’ roll same-sex tennis shoe Irish Republican A&W Root Beer drinkers” he bayed, biting at himself, throwing in a couple of back flips for emphasis. “Imperialist money-worshiping devils” he added, tearing off his tail and spitting it across the room. Never before had I seen such rage – I sat down, lit a cigarette, watched the show with wonder. Soon, there were only two fiery eyes, a paw, one tooth, and a couple of fleas left – but on it raged. Then, finally, it gave up the ghost – but not before howling, “Down with Joe DiMaggio.” I rose, took up the broom, opened the front door. “God’s wolf, my granny,” I muttered, sweeping the whole mess outside. “Everybody knows God loves Joe Dimaggio.”

John Sandoval

Nevada City

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