Let’s start the day by laughing! Courtesy of Grass Valley Gary.
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Teacher: Why are you late, Frank?
Frank: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Frank: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
Teacher: No, that’s wrong
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday, you said it’s H to O.
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.
Teacher: Wyatt, why do you always get so dirty?
Wyatt: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
Millie: I is …
Teacher: (interrupting) No, Millie … Always say, “I am.”
Millie: All right … I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No, sir. I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No. It’s the same dog.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
Dixie Redfearn can be reached at 477-4238 or by e-mail at email@example.com, or by fax at 477-4292.
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I am writing about the news I read in the “Police Blotter,” about a disturbance in front of a restaurant on Mill Street in Grass Valley. By opening Mill Street, it would get rid of…