No help for our addicted children
My heart goes out to the people with addicts in their lives. They receive phones calls from the son or daughter in jail saying, “I am cured. I will never take that nasty crank again. Mom and dad, I need help. Please let me come home?”
So with our hearts full of love – and not tough love – we take them back with open arms and new hopes. For the first month, they are the pictures of a clean person wanting to please in any way they can. Once they gain your trust, they begin to slip into the old behavior (i.e., stealing dad’s nail gun to sell for dope, stealing money from the house, gaining confidence in the neighbors and friends and stealing from them, too!)
These children of ours become sociopaths just to supply their need and demand. At first they snort it, then they smoke it, and by the time they are shooting it, if nothing is nailed down or kept to yourself – where you have what they need, they take it.
By the time you realize what has happened, it is too late! They have junked your property with their miscellaneous junk, they do a big ripoff, and then make themselves go away, always blaming the families for putting pressure on them and making them go back to dope! They don’t call for the holidays or even to see if you are alive and well. They are on the run …
You, the parent – what happens to you? You cry and blame yourself for their faults instead of blaming the predator who started them on the road to hell. You are so embarrassed that you want to lock yourself in your home forever just because you gave them birth. You apologize to the people they have violated, and you want to pay them for their losses. They say, “Oh no, it was not your fault.” Yet you know they are hurting, and there is nothing you can do to relieve the pain, either with money or words.
There is no help for our children because their conscience has been replaced with chemicals eating at the brain. They want to make fast money, and the words “get a job” are worse than four-letter words for them, which are always in the vocabulary they use.
I sat in drug court and watched these manipulators work the judge on how good they were doing and how they would never do it again! Then they wait it out, and once through the Prop. 136 program, they come out squeaky-clean and start all over again. Others opt for jail time, and there they find God. Only while they are there! Open the cell door and it is back to the old ways of life, and God who?
Prop. 136 is a waste of taxpayers’ money. I feel they should all be put into a part of the land where they can live amongst themselves so they can rip each other off. And the predators? You must remember there is “no honor among thieves.” They deserve each other so they can stop hurting their families and friends, and stop lying, cheating and hurting their children.
I don’t have any answers for our families, but I do pray for us. I am now a firm believer in tough love. When they call for help, just say, “No!”
I would like to know the percentages of those who actually stay clean. My guess is one in 1000 in this county, and those are not very good odds.
May the drug task force continue to do good work, and may we be able to change Prop. 136. Maybe then there will be justice for all, and families will be able to hold their heads high once again.
There are families who have gotten their children back, and may God bless them! They were saved by what I call the control of the demon. God blessed me with returning one of my children to me, so there is some hope with lot of prayers.
Claire Grondona, who has lived in Nevada County for eight years, was born and raised in South San Francisco. She raises sheep and dogs, and organizes Thanksgiving and Easter gatherings in North San Juan.
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From all the residents of Grass Valley Senior Apartments, thank you to the firefighters, police department air support and everyone who responded to the Bennett Fire. God bless you all. You are all heroes.