John Palmer: I want to be your new supervisor | TheUnion.com
YOUR AD HERE »

John Palmer: I want to be your new supervisor

I want to be your new supervisor

I’ve decided to run for a seat on the Nevada County Board of Supervisors.

I actually only have one qualification, but it’s an important one: I’m a complete ignoramus. And, I can prove it. Here are some of the things I don’t know:



I don’t know what photosynthesis is.

I don’t know that plants are designed to grow outside under the sun.




I don’t know that growing plants inside requires grow-lights.

I don’t know that grow-lights require electricity.

I don’t know that electricity is produced by burning fossil fuels.

I don’t know that burning fossil fuels contributes to global warming.

I don’t know anything about economics.

I don’t know that cannabis production is one of the biggest sources of revenue for businesses in western Nevada County.

I don’t know, that because of that revenue, this is a vibrant, dynamic, wonderful place to live.

I don’t know that some of that revenue will help pay my salary as a board member.

I don’t know that I’m supposed to listen to my constituents.

I don’t know that most cannabis farmers are caring, dedicated, environmentally aware people.

I don’t know what environmentally aware means.

I don’t know that cannabis is a harmless, medicinal herb.

I don’t know that Richard Nixon is no longer in office.

I don’t know why people don’t like me.

So there you have it, proof that I’d fit right in with the current board. So, on election day, vote for me!

John Palmer

Nevada City

Story has been updated to correct editing error in first paragraph.


Support Local Journalism


Support Local Journalism

Readers around Grass Valley and Nevada County make The Union’s work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.

Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.

Your donation will help us continue to cover COVID-19 and our other vital local news.

 

Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User