Joel Houtman: A very Amazon Christmas | TheUnion.com
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Joel Houtman: A very Amazon Christmas

After being awoken in the middle of the night by a UPS delivery, I felt compelled to rewrite Clement Clarke Moore’s famous poem:

‘Twas a month before Christmas, when all through the house

Many creatures were stirring, especially my spouse



All the orders to Amazon were made with great care

With expectations UPS would soon be there



Grandma and grandpa went to bed early

Knowing if they didn’t they would wake up quite surly

At 1:00 in the morning my dog began to bark

She rarely does that so late after dark,

Out on my front porch there arose such a clatter

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter

There to my wondering eyes did appear

But a UPS van, Oh my dear!

“On Costco, on Lands End, on Amazon prime”

The UPS man said, “I must be on time!”

He left the driveway with such a roar

Saying “I will be back tomorrow with even more”

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Go back to bed, and good luck with your night!

Joel Houtman

Grass Valley


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