Gary Palmer: No relative of mine |

Gary Palmer: No relative of mine

A wealthy dentist named Walter Palmer from Bloomington, Minn. drags a fetid hippo past the nose of a tired old lion named Cecil (reputedly a littermate of Lafcadio) to lure him away from his dear family and out of a cushy game park in Zimbabwe to where Walter can shoot him with a crossbow, bringing down the opprobrium of the world on his head — not to mention threats of prosecution and hints of extradition.

Walter really stepped in that hippo stuff this time. He should have taken a lesson from his previous conviction for shooting an unauthorized bear.

Being from Minnesota and bearing the Palmer surname, I wince every time I hear Walter’s story on the news, but I want to make it clear that this enthusiastic trophy collector is no known relative of mine. If he were, I would certainly ask him why he didn’t save $50,000 and go a few miles over to Milwaukee where the terrorized suburbanites would probably knight him for saving them from the Lafcadio that has been wandering about in their own gardens this past week demanding marshmallows from kids on their way home from school.

Gary Palmer

Nevada City

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