Lessons from my mother | TheUnion.com

Lessons from my mother

(Editor’s Note: Readers recount lessons their mothers taught them)

My mother’s most enduring lesson didn’t sound like a “lesson” at all. It was couched in four little words, “Honey, you don’t know…” The adult maxim might be, “Reserve judgment until you have more information.” But, Mom’s words sounded more like:

“Honey, you don’t know what they really said. Maybe it was repeated incorrectly.”

“Honey, you don’t know, maybe he had a really bad day.”

Or, “Honey, you don’t know- maybe she’s just shy and only seems stuck-up.”

Over the last 25 years, in public church ministry, I’ve come to deeply appreciate the caution my mother taught me. It is easy to jump to judgment about people’s motives, resolve, beliefs, actions, or words based upon flimsy evidence. If and when I do, the memory of Mother’s blue-eyed gaze, and her gentle reminder have made me look below the surface, “Honey, you don’t know…”

Thank you, Mother.

Kathie Floyd

Grass Valley

ment about people1s motives, resolve, beliefs, actions or words based upon flimsy evidence. If and when I do, the memory of Mother1s blue-eyed gaze and her gentle reminder have made me look below the surface, 3Honey, you don1t know…²

Thank you, Mother.

Kathie Floyd

Grass Valley

Mom lived by, taught Golden Rule

My mom immigrated from Germany in the mid-1920s. She worked hard in her 3new country,” trying to be the best that she could be. She was always a shining example to me, and as I get older, I sure do appreciate her<certainly more then I did when I was a teen-ager.

The most important thing that my mother taught me was to be kind and think of others, which she did by her actions and admonitions. She would say 3Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.² She also said, 3Don1t say anything about someone unless it is good,² which translated into 3Don1t gossip.²

In the fast-paced world of today with its flip answers, 3cool comments² and road rages, it might be good to reflect upon the quieter times of the past, to slow down a little, and think of your neighbors and friends and 3do unto others.²

I still try to follow her advice and have also passed it on to my children and grandchildren.

My mom, Frieda Ella Hoefer, would have been 101 last month, and I miss her each and every day.

Anita Flanigan

Nevada City

Stepmom earned title OMom1

I1ve learned that it1s possible to earn the title 3Mom.” My stepmom of 17-plus years has become my 3Mom² and my friend. I1m thankful that my daughters are blessed with such a wonderful grandma.

Stacey Daniels

Three simple lessons

What I learned from my mother:

l. Say OPlease² and 3Thank you,² no matter what.

2. Say 3Thank you very much for the very nice time,² even if it wasn1t.

3. To say as kids left for school, 3Learn a lot!²

Susan Graf

Nevada City

Rebel taught to

think for herself

In the 1960s, it was fashionable to look like Twiggy, wear hip hugger skirts, and support the Vietnam War. My mother didn1t care for fads in fashion or politics. When I1d try to fit in, my mother and I would argue. I pointed out that 3Everyone1s doing it!² My mother responded, 3You1re not everyone!²

She was right. I1m grateful that my mother encouraged me to be myself.

Wanda Way

Grass Valley

Thank Mom before it’s too late

One commonality all mankind has is that they had a mother. My mother died. Yours will, too. Before they go, take time to tell them, 3I love you.²

Michael J. Harris

Penn Valley

Thread of stability binds generations

Sometimes, life delivers vicious blows. When my mom was 28, pregnant with her third child, my dad abandoned us. She landed on her feet. At 39, she was remarried with four children, and she was widowed. She landed on her feet. She did not model a weakened demeanor of despair, victimization or 3poor me.² At her knee, we learned how to cope, take care of family, and lead a moral life. How to be responsible and contribute to society. Now as adults, when adversity arrives, we know deep in our souls the path to restoration. One steady foot in front of the other.

We1re raising our children with same the optimistic strength of character Mom modeled to us. The apples fell close to the tree. Thank you, Mom, your thread of stability weaves through the generations. And so it bindsS

Paula Hunsicker

Santa Ynez

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