Wesley Leonard: Making sense of it all into absurdity | TheUnion.com
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Wesley Leonard: Making sense of it all into absurdity

Hello? You’re being recorded! You can stop lying now; Biden is the president. This is a fact. It’s information — not fake information, real information. We shouldn’t have to go over this all the time — conspiracy theories aren’t true. No one has ever lied in human history. Lying is a myth made up by conspiracy theorists.

You’re entitled to your own opinions … but not to your own facts! Personally, I wouldn’t want my own opinions … I prefer the peaceful hum of the collective … but you are allowed to have opinions.

However, when you start treating those opinions like facts, then you’re not being objective. You’re saying your idea is reality. That’s wrong.



Being objective means seeing that your opinions are wrong if you treat them like facts. You don’t get to judge people and pretend that’s truth. That’s called fascism. You can’t go around misinforming people and telling them whatever you believe. Some of your beliefs might be unscientific. Science, unlike faith, only deals with facts. Scientists only trust hard data: observations and measurements of physical things and phenomenon.

The rational scientist only believes that which has been proven. Inferred understandings are referred to as hypotheses , theories or laws depending on how certain they are. The theory of gravity is a strong theory.




All scientific data is true. Anything new to science isn’t scientific until it’s confirmed. Unlike a religion or a cult, science does’t bestow authority on some leader. Science claims only that which can be known and demonstrated. Science is egalitarian and fair.

America is not perfect … but since the Holocaust, our exports of Western mentality and American dollars have allowed continuous inflationary spending with worldwide socialized losses. The future is bright. Our dollar is strong, our industry is coming back, and so are our civil liberties as soon as people stop getting sick.

Now, more than ever, it is important that we trust science … but also, only trust people who trust science. The spreaders of misinformation cast doubt on current hypotheses and attack the character of those who work tirelessly, revising, and updating these hypotheses.

Right-wing conspiracy theorists who want us to mistrust our health-care system accuse multinational corporations of “being evil” or “wanting your money.”

Other right-wing conspiracy theorists say, “Antifa was at the Capitol” or “Do they exist?” or “Maybe they’re more like mercenaries than far leftists.”

Another conspiracy theorist group speculated they were more like … both. But that’s impossible, right? Marx proved people don’t get paid to do what they want.

I was concerned for member safety after hearing them attacked in so much far-right hate-speech … so I called headquarters. There was no answer. This is not uncommon; things are highly compartmentalized right now. Has anybody seen them? I want to ask if they were at the Capitol … also I need a crew for something.

Follow the science. Follow science. Science. Science. Amen.

We’ve come a long way. No longer bound to faithfully accepted or disproven axioms, we fearlessly add to the growing, internally consistent body of objective truth … and we never want to go back to, the, era … of, wait … ignorant … past … not … You get what I’m saying? We don’t want to go back to the stupid, worthless past. We’re going forward together and one day we will objectify Christmas without even thinking about it, and technology will give us everything.

It’s all fine. Biden is your president. Put on your anti-racist Nazi-stompers … or prepare to get Nazi-stomped.

Everybody who voted for Trump is racist! Given the election fraud … that could be anyone. Anyone means everyone. Everyone is a suspect. Round ’em up!

There will be no more elections … ever. Election fraud disproportionately harms minorities. The best things in life aren’t things. Get used to not having them. We have a farm to run. The individual is expendable.

Wesley Leonard lives in Rough and Ready.


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