Kellye Chapman: Autumn outing turned full moon fiasco
Harvest moons. Crisp, autumn-hued leaves. Brisk temperatures. The delights of the season lure me into a bakery to splurge. I wished to savor yet another fall pleasure: pumpkin spice coffee.
Little did I know, my autumn outing was about to enter “The Twilight Zone.” As if night shadow overtook the day, my harvest celebration shifted like the full moon turns its victim.
I must budget, and seeing no display of prices for the seasonal specialties, I asked the server what they were. My question impacted her like an insult. With her voice resembling a slow boil, she retained the confidentiality of the prices, and asked again what I wanted. Though stirred out of my savoring state of mind, I opted for a return to daylight. I estimated the maximum it might cost given posted prices, downsized my order and paid — as another customer entered.
Unable to find the flavor of bread she wanted, the new customer started a discussion that ended with a game of table hockey as she shoved a loaf of bread across the counter then turned to walk away. Our server switched sports to football, launching the loaf into the air scoring a hit to the customer’s shoulder.
Stunned, I stared at her stating the incredulous obvious, “You threw a loaf of bread at her!” We went on to debate whether catapulting pumpernickel at customers was appropriate. I had the audacity to ask the price of the coffee. Did she spit in it while making it, or did company policy merely allow bread bashing of customers?
I cried foul and threw a flag. The penalty was a canceled order with full refund. Fortunately, it ended there without an inning of baguette baseball to my head.
Bread buyers beware. Shots are being taken at customers; and, they are more than verbal. That is not a football you see flying through the bakery this autumn — though helmets are advisable. It’s a loaf of rye and you might need to go long.
Please, don’t get me wrong. I am not defending offensive customers. Maybe the hockey playing customer deserves the penalty box. But that crusty quarterback needs a time out too. No one should have sourdough hurled at them. And, asking prices in advance of your purchase is fair play.
A few days later, I drove past the bakery and spotted an emergency vehicle in the parking lot. I couldn’t help but chuckle and wonder if another skirmish ensued that required resuscitation. Perhaps the police were called.
“Put your hands in the air and step away from the cinnamon swirl!”
I laugh but, I also ponder. As we approach the hustle and bustle of the most wonderful time of the year, let’s skip the coin toss to see who goes first. What if we shake hands and get on the same team? Instead of aiming for each other, let’s shoot for merry and bright.
Kellye Chapman lives in Minden, Nev.
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