John Brady: Trump’s tribulations
We are spinning in this whirlwind as the coronavirus is killing 1,750 Americans per day, on average. While this catastrophe swirls around us, the only stability we can grasp is the genius of “Doctor Don” Trump, rector of the famed-but-debunked Trump University.
“Professor” Trump predicted this number will rise to 3,000 dead Americans daily but simultaneously encouraged us to open the states to business and let the devil take the hindmost. Recent polls indicate that disloyal viewers are losing faith in the Donald so fast that the Democrats, who started this “virus hoax” to begin with, appear on the verge of sweeping the House, the Senate and the White House come November. Imagine: “Trump’s Toads” in the Senate, all “croaking” on the same fateful day.
While people are dropping like flies, Dr. Donald has not deserted his love of science and even now is likely reviewing his unique insight that disinfectants, ingested or injected, may save us all. Sharing this premonition with the public a bit prematurely, it dawned on Dr. Don that he had become the butt of a million jokes. Now, those faithful among us in the cult of Fox News, await clinical proof of the rare insights only hinted at by the president. Could Clorox and Lysol cleanse our innards and wash away all stain of disease? Or was it just one of many “gut-reactions” that Donald seems afflicted with?
Solutions to big problems are unlikely to be found without the enthusiastic and courageous freedom-loving people demonstrating with their high tech machine guns, such as their dramatic recent effort of influencing (or intimidating) the Michigan legislature. Look people, they aren’t going to create a bloodbath, for god’s sake. Unless one of the flag-draped true believers has a screw loose. Certainly the chances of that is very remote. Still, a bullet proof vest might be handy if the machine gun hotties get fearful, reading those polls where their hero is widely viewed as confused at best, and possibly flat-out nuts.
After all, wouldn’t you be a little thin-skinned when those big city newspapers count up all your bald faced lies and “misstatements” and reach the number of 18,200 as a presidential contribution to public discourse in less than four years?
Typical of Trump’s style is deflecting attention from his endless dithering on the virus problem to scapegoating the Chinese and the World Health Organization. Remember the Mexican kids in cages or the Muslim scapegoating? It always works, right? It used to work. But now, with 30 million unemployed in a flash depression, stock market chaos, death raining down on us from every which way, it seems diversion doesn’t have the charm it used to have.
Be that as it may, let’s ease up on all this criticism being heaped on the hapless head of the Orange One. After all, we’re all in this together. We’re all Americans, and though we have differences, we have more in common than we have differences.
Besides, think how much Trump has suffered while keeping his taxes secret, exploding the deficit, doing more harm to the environment with tax cuts for Big Coal, withdrawing from climate change multinational agreements, perverting treaties with NATO, wiping out clean air and clean water laws, and what appreciation does he get? Condemnation as a Putin puppet, a partnership in electoral fraud.
This has been stressful for poor Donald. It’s a tough job to ruin the United States, and perhaps the entire world to boot. You can’t say he hasn’t given it the old college try.
John Brady is a realtor who lives and works in Grass Valley.
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