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Jim Milburn: Happier setting aside expectations

Good day, neighbors, and what a good day it is. Have you been outside and enjoyed what this wonderful place we call home has to offer us? You are missing out if you have not put down your phone and taken a minute to enjoy the show that nature puts on every spring.

With all the lockdowns and uncertainty in our world, it was challenging to get out and enjoy this amazing world. Heck, I even consider myself to be a person who tries to not let outside negative energy effect my being, and I felt so out of tune with myself and my surroundings.

I ask myself if spring even happened last year! I spent much of it out in nature, hiking around, yet I cannot remember feeling spring like I feel this year. My mind must have wandered and got wrapped up in all the stuff that was going on in this world, not allowing me to stop and smell the roses.



I found myself getting frustrated with things people said and did last year. Even those things that have no affect on me and do not mean a darn thing in the big scheme of things.

A good friend pointed out something to me in a simple statement that I have tried to debunk to no avail. He said, “The last time you were upset, angry, or disappointed in someone, it was simply because they did something you did not expect.”




Think about that for a minute. One of the main reasons we get depressed, upset, or angry is because we have expectations that are not met.

Just last month I met a cool person that shares some of the same interests. We decided to take a day and go explore some of the sights and sounds out off the beaten path I had discovered. We had an amazing day. One of the best in a very long time.

However, we did not get to go to all the places I wanted to share. So, this can lead us in one of two directions. I could have easily been disappointed that we did not go and see everything, but I chose to look at it as a great day and there is more to see the next time.

It is all about the expectations we put on things and people. Why can’t we just enjoy having a time? It does not have to be a good time or a bad time. We choose to label things in our own minds, and often enough it ruins what we did enjoy.

Same can be said for friends, co-workers, family members or strangers. When they decide to handle something differently than the way we would, we choose to get upset or disappointed about their decision.

We only have control over what we do and how we feel in our own minds. Let go of expectations, and you will find yourself at peace with a whole lot more than you think. Just accept that people do different things different ways.

Shoot, we might even learn a better way of doing something if we just take a minute to understand what and why they did what they did. If you cannot find any good in it, oh well, it is what it is!

Enjoy your day and the world around us. All the details are just that, details. Give them none of your energy and you will have that energy left to devote to important things that you have control over.

I think that if we all did a lot more of accepting and less expecting, the world would be a whole lot cooler.

Jim Milburn lives in Grass Valley.

 


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