Dick Tracy: What the world needs now is laughter | TheUnion.com

Dick Tracy: What the world needs now is laughter

We need to laugh more.

There’s plenty to laugh about in statements from, “The Great Pretender” in the White House, but that’s sardonic laughter. I’m talking about the kind that makes you feel good.

Remember the fun of watching “Hollywood Squares” on TV years ago? A moderator would make a simple statement like, “Is it wrong to go around indiscriminately kissing people?” and Paul Lind responded, “It got me out of the army!”

And suddenly, within recent years, they dried up. No new ones appeared. Apparently the fear is of saying something that would somehow offend someone. Anyone. For any reason.

But here’s one that got good-natured chuckles:

A college student makes his way through school with his musical talents and one day is asked to play bagpipes beside the grave of a Scotsman whose niece wants him bade a proper farewell.

“He’s outlived his mates.” She explains, “so there’s no funeral service.”

The next day he goes where he thinks the grave site is, but there’s no grave-digging crew to be seen. Frantic, he drives through the cemetery and finally spots a five-man crew adding the last shovelfuls of soil to a fresh excavation.

He rushes to the site, wearing a kilt, and plays, “Amazing Grace” and a string of old favorites for the crew leaning on their shovels. Then he salutes and drives off.

The foreman of the crew shakes his head: “Y’know, lads, I’ve been installing septic tanks for 30 years … and that’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!”

One more?

A Las Vegas lounge act features a ventriloquist whose dummy is telling ‘dumb blonde’ jokes.

They’re getting a lot of laughs until a young blonde woman stands up and says, “I was just going to leave, but I can’t put up with this nonsense!”

She reads the ventriloquist the riot act about blondes not being dumb. And he’s mindful the audience is supporting her.

“Listen,” he says in a soft tone, “I apologize….”

But she waves him off, “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little jerk in your lap!!”

OK, Did anyone smile?

Dick Tracy, who lives in Grass Valley, is a member of The Union Editorial Board. His views are his own and do not represent the views of The Union or its editorial board members. Contact him at EditBoard@TheUnion.com.

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