Chris Enss: The rage of the ‘haves’ | TheUnion.com

Chris Enss: The rage of the ‘haves’

Other Voices
Chris Enss

It seems the latest rage that's all the rage is road rage. I recently witnessed a shouting match between two women drivers in the Penney's parking lot over who had the right to back out of their space first. The women were cursing and spitting at each and giving one another the middle finger.

People use the middle finger so much, scientist predict it may soon evolve its own brain.

I have a solution for road rage: make everybody's license-plate number the same as their cell-phone number. That way, you can drive a safe distance away before you call the other car and tell them what jerks they are.

America's a very uptight place now. Sure, some might be making more money, but people are working longer hours. We're fighting more traffic, paying more for homes and food, and having to mess with more remote controls than ever. There are eight remotes for the television in my home and I still can't get the appliance to turn on. It makes me so frustrated I want to hurl myself into a trash compactor.

Rage is not a completely unreasonable response to the stimuli around us nowadays. The meek may inherit the earth, but trust me, their going to contest the will.

And occasionally you've gotta express your displeasure at the cosmic injustice of it all, but if a human being causes you extreme stress, the best thing to do is take it out on an inanimate object. Break a clock, kick in your TV set, or smash your computer screen with a ball-peen hammer. You'll feel a lot better. Just don't hurt anyone. Unless, of course, the cause of your rage is a malfunctioning piece of machinery or any one of eight remotes. Then it's only fair to take it out on a human being, preferably someone smaller than you.

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Just kidding of course, but I do believe the two women cursing and spitting at one another in the Penney's parking lot aren't kidding and that's my point.

During the last two decades we have become inundated with money and technology that allowed us to get accustomed to everything going our way, which means we've got very little tolerance for frustration. The difference between the rage we see today and the rage of the '60s is this: road rage and air rage are the rage of the haves, not the have-nots. The people flying off the handle today are the people who have no reason to be upset about anything. Their rage is the byproduct of an overfed, overindulged society of blathering crybabies.

And it just makes me want to kick their teeth in.

Just kidding.

Chris Enss lives in Grass Valley.