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As tolerant as the Taliban

Now that those awful Taliban forces have been routed from Afghanistan, all God-fearing patriotic Americans must be wondering who that’s country’s new political role models should be. I enthusiastically nominate our own noble conservative leaders who are such paragons of morality and compassion. For example, when our own beloved Great Communicator Ronald Reagan called homosexuality an “abomination,” that noble sentiment was echoed by that great beacon of Christian values, Jerry Falwell, who enthused, “Thank God this vile and satanic system (homosexuality) will be utterly annihilated and there’ll be celebration in Heaven.” Makes one proud to be a conservative, doesn’t it? Of course, Mr. Falwell’s esteemed peer, Pat Robertson, helped us all by pointing out that feminism is not, as we had naively presumed, about equal rights for women, but is actually “a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” Thanks for clearing that up, Pat! But for sheer generosity of spirit, no one can take a back seat to that great American patriot Rush Limbaugh, who confessed that he was reluctant to “kill all the liberals. Leave enough around so that we can have two on every campus … so we will never forget what these people stood for.” Talk about kindness!



Yes, sir, the Taliban may have had their mean streak, but for sheer big-hearted compassion and tolerance, no one can take a back seat to the good ol’ American conservative! Bless you, boys!




Ross Woodbury

Grass Valley


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