Editor’s Notes—What a Relief! | TheUnion.com

Editor’s Notes—What a Relief!

By Mike Dobbins

That’s a relief!
I was beginning to worry about us.
After a year of natural and man-made disasters in our “golden” state, I thought we were heading into a very deep, dark and depressed economic disaster.
Multiple fires, mudslides, broken dams, countless thousand of people left without homes and much needed medical attention. Our streets filled with the “homeless,” —a term encompassing a number of different definitions — and those streets crumbling for lack of upkeep, maintenance or care.
All this and the latest sign of our impending doom, the effort by our leader to secede from the only source of funding-help for all those suffering as a result of the year, 2017, which will be its own chapter in future history books.
What a relief to know now, that my worry was silly and mere paranoia.
I realize how shortsighted I was when I discovered that our elected leaders in Sacramento had turned their attention to a much more dangerous issue…straws.
Yep! Plastic straws.
Now, I’m not a straw person. I use them infrequently. But I admit, when ordering drive-thru, they come in handy. Who knew doing so was more threatening to our state and ourselves.
But fear not everyone, the new law will allow our bored lawmen and under-worked courts to prosecute any and all criminal restaurant servers if they give a straw to a customer who does not ask for one.
It’s about time!
Seriously, I can’t count to times of had to try and enjoy a meal while this long, white-sheet-covered thing lays-in-wait next to my water glass. What a relief it will be to see that teen, or college-aged, creep hauled away in handcuffs. The peace of mind knowing our leaders are finally looking out for our welfare and safety makes it much easier to sleep at night.
I will be more than happy and proud to show support for the great American legal system, take the day off work and testify against the egregious lawbreaker so he, or she, gets the maximum sentence—one year in jail or a $1000 fine.
Those that don’t live in this wonderous state will be so jealous. Don’t worry. Their envy will likely lead to a demand for their lawmakers copy our farsighted effort to fix all that is broken in our society.
Like I said, it’s about time!

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