GET INTO GOLF: Pro shop, may I help you? | TheUnion.com

GET INTO GOLF: Pro shop, may I help you?

John Renslow
Golf columnist

With any customer service job, we can expect a certain number of questions that seem nonsensical on the surface. You may have heard of the computer customer support phone line that received a call from a new computer owner asking why her computer did not work. Only to find out that the power was out in her home.

Sometimes we're just busy or we haven't thought things through or perhaps it's a third-party question. We all do it. So, the following actual phone calls to Pro Shops will be amusing, if not educational.

Here you go:

Staff: Pro shop, may I help  you?

Caller: What are your green fees?

Staff: 30 dollars.

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Caller: Does that include golf?

 Staff: Pro shop, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, we have a tee time in two weeks. What's the weather going to be like that day?  

Staff: Pro shop, may I help  you?

Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I'm running late. Can you still get me out early?  

Staff: Pro shop, may I help  you?

Caller: Do you have any open tee times around 10 o'clock?

Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15.

Caller: What's the next time after that?

Staff: We have one at 10:22.

Caller: We'll take that one. It will be a bit  warmer. 

Staff: Pro shop, may I help  you?

Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?

Staff: Sure, what time would you like?

Caller: Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock. In the morning, if possible.

Staff: Pro shop, may I help you?

Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there?

Staff: Yes, they're $25.

Caller: How much to rent a bag? 

Staff: Pro shop, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, my husband just called me on his cell phone and told me he's on the 15th hole. How many more holes does he have to play before he gets to the 18th?

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?

Staff: Yes.

Caller: How much for a large bucket?

Staff: Four dollars.

Caller: Does that include the balls?   

Staff: Pro shop, may I help you?

Caller: Do you have a twilight rate?

Staff: Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock.

Caller: And what time does that start?

Staff: Pro shop may I help you?

Caller: Yes, I'd like some info about your golf  course.

Staff: OK, what would you like to know?

Caller: I don't know, that's why I called. 

Staff: Pro Shop, may I help you?

Caller: My kids just came home with pockets full of range balls and said they stole them from your driving range. Would you like to buy them back?

I hope you enjoyed those. Remember, it's not an indictment. It's a funny, friendly wake-up call to help avoid an embarrassing moment.

Have fun on the course and don't forget to make that phone call!

John Renslow is a PGA Professional, VP of Yugi Golf Management, and provides Golf Instruction at local courses.