Personality and love intertwined
Carol Ritberger, Ph.D, is a most gifted medical intuitive, author, and esoteric teacher. For most of her professional life, she was a team building and effective communication business consultant. However, in 1981, she had three separate profound events that changed her life forever, moving her to the world of mystic knowledge.
Her ability to see the human energy system, the aura, has allowed her to begin a school, The Ritberger Institute where she teaches The Science and Art of Medical Intuition and other classes, author three books and speak nationally.
Carol will be in Grass Valley on March 30 to talk about her new book, “Love …What’s Personality Got to Do with It?” After reading her book, I was able to unravel some mysteries of my relationships – it is highly recommended.
What is the difference between your book and other books about love?
The more I researched about love and relationships, the more I realized how important the role of personality is in our finding, creating, and sustaining the relationships that not only meet our love needs and expectations but also, our partner’s love needs and expectations.
This is very different from other books that promise to provide the secret to creating mutually satisfying relationships or explained what to do and not to do to get love. My book and research goes to the core of why we define love the way we do, express love the way we do, or why we are attracted to some people and not others.
You see, love means different things to different people, and it’s those differences that ultimately leave us asking, “How can relationships work at all?” However, once you understand personality, both yours and your partner’s, it’s easier to understand why you may not see things the same way and, consequently may not react or respond the same way when you don’t see eye-to-eye.
You define different personality types by color. Why did you choose to go this route?
My personality behavioral psychology background is based on the work of Carl Jung. I found that people are resistant to being labeled with names because it boxes them in to a particular behavioral category. Thus, I followed the path presented by Dr. Max Luscher, who chose to look at personality differences from the perspective of color. This approach is effective, non-threatening and easy for people to remember. After all, color is a common language we use every day to describe how we are feeling. The use of color also makes it much easier to deal with personality differences, especially in a conflict situation.
How does a person find their personality color?
There is a personality assessment included in the book that identifies a person’s personality color. There are four different personality colors: Red, Orange, Yellow and Green. The assessment includes how the person gathers information, processes information and makes decisions. It also includes a self-scoring key. Once a person knows their color, there are detailed descriptions of each of the four colors. I must warn you, however, once you start to see other people through the eyes of personality colors, it will change not only the way you interact with them, it will improve how you communicate with them. You may even find yourself appreciating the very things about them that used to cause you frustration in the past.
What would you consider to be the No. 1 problem common in all relationships?
Communication, without a doubt. In fact, in my surveying couples, I asked this specific question and they all said that the most difficult part of their relationship was keeping the lines of communication open, especially in difficult times when the tendency is to stop talking. I heard a quote that really rings true of the communication process. It is “The problem with communication is the illusion that it has been achieved.” We all want to be heard, to responded to, and evenly more importantly, to be understood.
However, different personality colors use different words to communicate what they are thinking or feeling. The Red and Yellow personality will ask their partner “What are you thinking?” and the Orange and Green personality will ask their partner, “Why do you feel that way?” While both imply the same thing, the words don’t elicit the same response. The word ‘what’ is logical and requires a person to respond.
The word ‘why’ is emotional and rather than getting a logical response, you’ll end up getting an emotional reaction. The bottom-line is the more you understand personality the easier it is to keep the lines of communication open.
What is the one thing about your book that you want the reader to understand?
I believe it would be that intimacy has many facets to it and if your needs around intimacy are different than your partner’s then it’s going to not only be difficult to keep the flames of love burning bright, it’s going to be difficult to keep the relationship alive.
You see, intimacy is what connects us at the deeper level with someone. It is the glue that binds two people together and makes it possible for them to weather the stormy times. It is what creates a mutually satisfying relationship where the needs of both people are fulfilled.
Yet, intimacy has four facets to it: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, and each personality color has a preference from the most important to the least important.
Suzie Daggett is the publisher of the INSIGHT Directory of Healing Arts Practitioners; 530-265-9255, http://www.insightdirectory.com
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