Marla Smart: Learn from your spouse | Moms |

Marla Smart: Learn from your spouse | Moms

Douglas County Mom blogger, Marla Smart.

Marla Smart

Age: 40-something

Family: Husband, Jerry; two daughters, 19 and 13; one son, 17.

Occupation: Part-time children’s pastor; full-time wife and mom

About: A local pastor’s wife, Marla Smart stays busy with her family of five and her church. She is a children’s pastor at her church, mentor mom for Winston’s Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS), and she also assists coaching UVC’s volleyball teams, as well as mothering her three (now teenage) children and loving her amazing husband, Jerry.

Being a mom has challenged her since the very first day of her oldest daughter’s life. She lives by Michelangelo’s quote “Ancora Imparo,” or “I am still learning.” Check out her personal blog at marlasmart.wordpress.comtarget="_blank">

​Read Marla Thursday's on Douglas County Moms.

More than once in our marriage my husband has mentioned to me how grateful he is that he does not have to live in my head.

Where I take time to prepare for all the “what-ifs” that are lurking on the horizon, he will plunge forward, with little more preparation than what he needs at the moment.

What I call preparing for every contingency, he calls worrying. When I wonder what people are thinking about what I’m doing, he calls me paranoid. He tires quickly during conversations with me because I tend to switch topics midway through. (In my defense, there’s always so much to say!)

It’s a really good thing that we come at life from different angles. I’m comfortable with how I do things, but my thoughts and feelings should be tempered with his nonchalance at times.

On the other hand, there are definitely times that my husband needs to be reminded of the consequences of certain actions. We make a good team that way.

All that said, I’ve really been appreciating (and maybe coveting) hubby’s way of looking at life the last couple of weeks.

As I have begun a new phase of my life, even though I am prepared to do the job, I have felt a bit out of sorts. I am looking to others for approval as I make most decisions.

It’s a little tiring, to be quite frank. The “me” part of me knows this is just how I do things, and yes, I am used to that. But there is a piece of me that is looking for a way out of the vicious cycle of it all.

That’s where my counterpart can come in. Sometimes we must, for everyone’s sakes, be prepared to look at things from another angle. It helps when you have a good model of that living in your house.

I can step back from my situation and think, “How would he react now?” Thinking this way is giving me the courage to make decisions and march forward with confidence.

Don’t forget to appreciate your spouse, even for those things that may irritate you on occasion. You never know when you might need his example.

Support Local Journalism

Support Local Journalism

Readers around Grass Valley and Nevada County make The Union’s work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.

Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.

Your donation will help us continue to cover COVID-19 and our other vital local news.


Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User