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Campaign suggestions

From The Union and elsewhere many of us are becoming overwhelmed by the deep concern each Presidential candidate has for our well-being.

Apparently Obama has convinced the populace by the wispy ethereal promises of his messianic pontifications all shall become possible through acts of God. Aha! That is it! He imagines himself God!

That being all it takes to get votes, McCain should propose two alternative energy vehicles in every garage, retroactive to 9/11 (not admitting they are bicycles!), levy taxes only on the rich (surreptitiously defined as anyone having just cashed a paycheck) and a National Health Care Program providing frequent house calls by medical professions (who also check tire inflation!), this funded entirely by Exxon corporate stock options.



And too, a thriving money tree in every backyard! Further, McCain should announce he will “tear down this Border Fence,” compassionately allowing uninhibited entry for all God’s creatures.

Between these candidates, this election then could be settled forthwith, conventions and balloting abandoned, and a winner declared by Zogby and Rasmussen. Thenceforth, the victor is off to cut bait! We, to fish!




Ed Westervelt

Nevada City


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