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Healthy reason for being faithful

Those who emphasize fidelity as a moral issue, as opposed to a natural result of a healthy relationship, are, I believe, missing the point.

In a healthy relationship, faithfulness is a want to, not a have to, and you would no more want to hurt your partner than hurt your child. Instead, you feel extremely protective of your child, and equally protective of your partner, and your reaction to the thought of hurting either of them is revulsion.

Here’s a test: Ask yourself “Why do I not hurt my child?” and “Why do I not hurt my partner?” The healthy answer to both questions should be “Because the thought of hurting my child/partner makes me want to vomit.” If you do not have this reaction, then something is seriously wrong either with you, or with the relationship(s), and you need to determine the problem, and then either fix it, or get out of the relationship(s).



Refraining from hurting your child or partner for moral reasons is certainly the right thing to do, but it does nothing to determine and solve the root problem that is causing you to feel in an unhealthy way toward your child or partner.

Jerry D. Petty




Grass Valley


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