With Memorial Day Weekend coming up, the countdown to summer break is underway. Ask any teacher. Ask any parent. While in theory, it is students tracking the days, experience tells me the adults are equally if not more invested, as the school year ends, and summer vacation begins. Summer break does not come without a cost.
And, I’m not talking about the madness of year end parties and performances which only add to the pressure of parental duties.
Sure, it’s a happy day for the educators and the children but it’s anything but convenient for parents, save the end of a hectic morning routine. Parents need to rethink their work week, find daycare, or lock up their breakables as some trust their offspring to entertain themselves while continuing their year round “nine to five.”
With the free babysitters — I mean teachers — on hiatus, many families need to make several modifications to make it from June to August (or whatever months those nine weeks of summer break cover).
It’s an adjustment to schedules and it is an adjustment to finances. Suddenly every household expense is on the rise – from increased utility bills with their brood at home running the A/C and leaving lights on throughout the house, throughout the day, to increased grocery bills as snacks and lunches and more snacks are in increasing demand.
If you are lucky enough to work from home or even luckier, a stay-at-home parent, other cost increases might include the crafts budget, summer camp expenses or a long-anticipated family vacation.
I am happily on the other side of the ongoing dilemma of what to do with the kids all summer and somehow survived it all — the years when the shift from school to daycare was without question, which was costly. Then there were the years when some of the kids definitely needed supervision while the older ones screamed for independence, followed by the really scary years when they were all left to their own devices while my husband and I worked our respective occupations.
Those were the days of phone calls of complaints — complaints about another sibling’s bad behavior, calls asking for permission to watch or go or eat or borrow, calls primarily for tattling, calls from bored, disgruntled, tormented kids. Were there ever calls just to check in or to tell us they were happy? If so, I do not recall!
If you know me at all, you know my husband and I blended our families. He had five boys. I had two kids. It was a lot. I spent most of those years in a self-preservation daze.
Recently I was cleaning out a closet and ran across a handwritten note that read, “If you will take us to San Francisco, we promise not to fight or argue.” It was signed by six of our offspring. Now there is a memory! It was spring break. My husband and I took them at their signatures and did, indeed, spend a weekend in the city by the bay. The idea was a day playing tourist, riding a cable car, watching the sea lions near Pier 39, having dinner at some touristy spot along Fisherman’s Wharf. We made a reservation at a hotel that was too small to accommodate us but about all we could afford. Even without bickering, the amount of energy that was that many children all in one hotel room was a lot to handle. Once we had settled in and were ready to explore, I had my husband take them all outside and said I would join them in a minute. I feigned a need for bathroom privacy but in truth, I just needed to have a quick cry as I struggled to balance the energy that was five boys and one girl all on the brink of or in the early stages of puberty.
Once I had gathered myself and my emotions, we headed out and had a remarkably pleasant day. I don’t remember many of the details except that as the adventure was coming to an end via a cable car ride, everything took a bit of a turn. The cable car broke down and as we disembarked, the clouds overhead opened, and we found ourselves in a downpour. We all took off running but were soon soaked to the bone.
We stopped at one of those tourist shops and bought sweatshirts and caps to keep from freezing, before letting the oldest pick the restaurant — an overpriced seafood chain — that had a relatively short wait time. We fed our pack of tired and hungry travelers, fortified ourselves with an adult beverage or two, and finally made it back to the hotel where we worked out sleeping arrangements on beds and a pull-out sofa and floor space to watch a movie before drifting off to sleep.
I honestly don’t recall any other aspects of the trip, but I do remember they kept their word for the most part and did manage to keep it together — really, they all did a better job than me.
Over the years, our tribe did not take a lot of big trips, but we eked out some memorable ventures here and there, until the time came when one by one or two by two, we found ourselves attending high school graduation ceremonies followed by staggered move outs.
And then one day, our lives were free of the restrictions of a school calendar. My spouse and I looked over and realized it was finally just the two of us. We survived.
Now when the school year comes to an end, the impact on us personally is zero. And I will tell you this — I don’t miss it — not even a little bit. But I feel for those still in the throes.
It may feel insurmountable now, but the time will come when you are on the other side. Know there is life beyond the academic calendar and you will be free of the school daze.