Savannah Hanson: Duality, spiritual ego and pass through
There is a process of disintegration, of loss of the identity we have known ourselves as for eons that is unfolding in the now. For millennium we have identified ourselves with the ego thought system with commensurate suffering. Duality was our learning device, keeping us in a constant cycle of suffering.
Now is the time beyond duality for those who are willing. Yes, for most it will take great courage and wholehearted desire. Often it will be an increasing experience of suffering that persuades us to make the leap. There is a new possibility beckoning those of us who have had enough of duality, of learning through suffering. This new way offers us the gift of simply being informed, of bestowing on us thoughts we do not think. We become open channels through which the mystery can flow, direct our days, our choices, our very being back home to oneness.
For most the path will not be without the appearance of obstacles. The most common path is generally the spiritual path yet this too comes with its own possible detours. The piousness of the spiritual path will eventually have to be blown up too. Ultimately we come to the void where there are no handholds and we simply surrender to emptiness and await the miracle of arriving at our true identity of oneness, union.
The spiritual ego is one of the most tenacious aspects of awakening. It will remain locked in the duality of good/ bad, right/ wrong. Yet ultimately we must see past this gateway as well. It is not easy to witness all things as neutral. To get to this point, we may need to believe that once we wake up all will be peaches and cream that nothing “bad” will ever happen to us.
This one is at that point. I had found myself making interesting choices with no understanding of why. I suddenly had the urge to smoke a cigarette. It felt irresistible. I drank half a bottle of wine in one night and I rarely drink. I started swearing. I finally was able to allow the energy of anger and rage to arise. The energy pass throughs are much more visceral than I had been used to. I often have to get up and move the energy that used to move through while stationary. I have found myself pacing in rage, crying hysterically, laughing uproarious sometimes in the space of minutes.
Happily I have years of training in allowing energy to simply be energy. These latest waves have had me finally willing to look past assigning meaning, trying to figure things out. Sometimes the energy is so big I simply must surrender and let it pass through willy nilly. I am happy I live in such a secluded area to give space to these big energies. Recently “dark” thoughts have begun to pass through. The first one horrified me and I rushed to confess it to the object of the thought. Then I asked him if it had impacted him one iota and of course it had not. We both started laughing uproariously at the idea a thought could hurt another. Since then I have been able to witness thoughts of jealousy, possessiveness, rage, ill wishing to simply pass through, neither good nor bad, simply thoughts passing through like clouds. Since aI had never consciously experienced thoughts of this nature that are now arising, it was startling and uncomfortable until I simply allowed all to be as it is.
Currently relationships will be rocked. Old wounds, resentment, betrayals, fears and regrets will be arising for examination. These times ask us to allow all to surface and be seen in neutrality, that we rip the scab off and let it bleed clean. These are big energies that will feel increasingly uncomfortable to many if they are not willingly allowed to be felt, experienced and simply passed through as sensations felt in the body. Conflict and chaos will escalate unless — until — we become willing to let the energy move through our bodies as neutral. Don’t be surprised if just reading this activates energy in your body. If it does, I urge you to set the paper, computer down and let the energy move through your body as felt sensation. This is the royal road to freedom.
To be willing to see all events as neutral is no small task and requires great willingness. To be willing to face and own our shadows, let “ugly” thoughts simply drift through like clouds is not easy. Yet it is required to assimilate and integrate that tenacious spiritual ego. To finally be willing to love whatever arises is the great liberator.
For information on private sessions, Wild Hearts online group or to schedule a free 20-minute consultation, contact Savannah Hanson, M.A., MFT #40422 at (530) 575-5052 or RisingasLove@gmail.com
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