Savannah Hanson: Circle of acceptance
Many of us will be feeling triggers left, right and center — the heat, the smoke, the fires, the destruction. It is easy to become depressed, overwhelmed, anxious and feel at the end of one’s rope. If we allow these energies to take us deeper, they can lead us straight to freedom.
Yet by now the triggers may be coming so fast and furious, it is easy to get swept up into hopelessness and despair. How do we stay centered in our own self acceptance when the profound pressure to keep our attention locked on fear and separation is playing out so powerfully in the outer world? We must surrender and accept, again and again and again.
I just facilitated my Wild Hearts group and one woman in her later 70s has had one significant trigger after another, from an “unfair” and agitated property manager, to not being allowed in even a few minutes early for surgery despite record heat, to now having her building demolished. To witness her courage and willingness to keep diving into the visceral sensations this brings up is a wonder to behold.
Accepting what is in the later stages of 2020 can certainly feel quite challenging. We just made peace with the fires and record heat, when we might read about some violence in our beloved town, or a friend gets sick or has an accident, or perhaps financial woes loom. All the people I know who are peacefully passing through these times have mastered surrender and most of them have had to accept seemingly unacceptable circumstances, what some might even call tragedy. Yet for those that have passed through layer after layer of programming, a new joy, unity and feelings of homecoming are landing. To access this inner arrival, this presence, one must become adept at saying yes to the now. To do so requires a much slower pace and a vast simplifying of life. For those still hoping things will get back to “normal,” this will be extremely frustrating. Yet for those willing to go with the flow, there has never been a better opportunity to land in love.
For almost two months I have been doing something called circling where the emphasis is on connection, intimacy, radical honesty, authenticity and the present moment. I have been shown aspects of my personality that I was completely blind to through the generosity of those with the courage to mirror to me what impact my presence has on them. I have had to bust apart my super ego of spiritual arrogance I call ultra spiritual. I have had to face and feel what it is like to be shown that I am not as open hearted as I would prefer to think of myself. Again and again, I have had the chance to move through triggers. Just today in my Wild Hearts group, I took the risky yet liberating step of revealing how and why I was triggered by a certain behavior.
The sense of intimacy and connection that arises from such authenticity is the answer to a prayer for me. So many members of the group spoke of how they feel like they are finally home, encouraged in a place where they can allow their vulnerability and know they will be held in what one member today called “loving support.”
This is the antidote for these times of what I call separation on steroids. Are we willing to share the honest impact another has on our inner world, reveal our failures and concerns, lean into connection and assume a positive intent? Are we willing to question our own assumptions? Doing so with my 20-year-old daughter less than a week ago resulted in a huge deepening and strengthening of our relationship. So much was revealed that I was previously blind to.
This level of intimacy and connection feels like what another member of Wild Hearts called the missing link. It feels as though I have landed on a new earth, one I can find ways to enjoy and feel good in. Until July I was not sure I could stick the planet as the level of polarity keeps increasing exponentially. I seriously wondered whether it might not get to the point I simply could no longer tolerate the level of fear and protection, the revelations of such incredible depravity, the lies and manipulations. Yet these radiant sparkles of connection assure me this is rather the birth pains of a wonderful new epoch in human history.
I had just finished writing this column when I found out death was brushing my life for the second time this week in a way that feels very tragic. It makes me even more motivated to make the most of every minute, to not waste a second in unnecessary conflict or disconnection. A close friend and I had gotten into a political tussle until we both decided to focus on connection and assume the other has shared values with positive intent. We decided to vote for the unity party. Please join us.
For information on private sessions or classes or to schedule a free 20-minute consultation, contact Savannah Hanson, M.A., MFT #40422 at (530-575-5052 or RisingasLove@gmail.com.
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