Savannah Hanson: Beyond the split mind of duality and trauma
Taking a pulse, some people seem to be relaxing, feeling more open and safe, while others are in deep depression, anxiety and trauma. I have been playing in all those states. I have spoken to a few who are deeply committed to “awakening” and yet are even feeling suicidal. There is no doubt these are interesting times.
I had the blessing of going to the coast for my birthday, getting out of this more locked-down state that has us shut away for so long. I had one perfect day where all I could desire happened. The weather was perfect, I got along great with my companion, had a yummy meal outdoors lit by individual heat lamps, bought two gorgeous jackets, and so on. All the things that used to ring my chime and convince me life is good.
Yet here’s the thing. Sure, I enjoyed it, I truly loved it, but did it permanently alter me in any way? No. What the uncertainty of these times keeps pushing me into is two things: focusing on the new and truly committing to moving beyond the split mind of duality and trauma to only wanting the peace of God, to know my self as pure love.
What I notice is that anxiety pushes me into trying to be sure the body is safe. Good luck with that, right? Fire, earthquake, finances; if we attempt to find our wellbeing there we will be on a chain that may jerk us hither — in my case keeping me cycling through trauma.
So after a zillion cycles, I am interested in something more permanent. I have had the great fortune of having almost all my dreams come true, yet, as a friend just asked, I sometimes do not feel free. The mind still wakes me up at night concerned for the body’s well being. Anybody else?
I was just in an experience where someone named his challenge as his unique brokenness yet almost everyone in the room also had a story of their own particular brokenness. Sigh.
In these wild times, seems many if not most of us may perceive ourselves as broken somehow, worried in some way about safety. “A Course in Miracles” tells us the last bastions of the ego are the special relationship, the body, and ultimately death. Until we have faced and moved beyond these concerns, we are still not free.
Feels like a tall order to me. In fact, not many are even willing to play this level of the liberation game. If you are reading this, I guess you are one.
As I explore this topic further, several things come to light that others are sharing that are also arising for them. One is that many on the spiritual path have neglected to embody. A few people pointed this out, letting me know without grounding, this wild energy can fry the body like an electric current. Yet as an empath, sensitive, the last thing I had wanted was to actually land on this crazy, wild, wonderful, chaotic, messy planet.
I just started reading “Sensitive is the New Strong” by Anita Moorjani. I knew that 15-20% of the population are highly sensitive (HSP) and have actual different wiring in the brain. I did not know that one can be HSP and not be an empath. Empaths have the additional gift/ challenge of picking up energy from others.
As so many have been walking around in fear, an empath may feel intense overwhelm. I certainly have. Thus grounding is an invaluable tool.
I have become aware of how often in the last year I made choices to stay in situations where I thought a group or person had vital information I needed to keep safe, to protect the body. So I would continue to interact with them even though I felt myself get traumatized again and again with stories of duality, of all the ways certain things are unfolding that are not for the highest good, of potential future catastrophe. I made peace with it and for months it was smooth sailing until the latest and greatest jump in energetic frequency.
With these higher frequencies, any remaining shadow may come screaming forward. I am hearing this from many who can be almost immobilized by reactivity.
There is only one group I know sailing through. They are in the new, creating. This is the antidote “A Course of Love” offers us, to be in the new, fully claiming our identity and creating our visions/dreams in unity and relationship. We’ve got our marching orders, now to embody this awareness.
For information on private sessions or classes or to schedule a free 30-minute mini session, contact Savannah Hanson, M.A., MFT #40422 at 530-575-5052 or RisingasLove@gmail.com
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