Are you a ‘Frog Farmer’? — Living the ‘Queen’s Code’ book club
Submitted to The Union
Women, are you annoyed by men, especially your partners? Do they seem not to care about you, to ignore you, and forget normal things you ask for and deserve? Does it seem they don’t really listen?
Perhaps the only time they pay real attention to us is … well, “you know.”
What if there is a good reason? Perhaps you have never really seen a man before. It could be that you are a “Frog Farmer.” I was.
A “Frog Farmer” is a woman who turns princes into frogs.
It’s not your fault. We’ve been taught this adversarial behavior for centuries.
When I first read “The Queen’s Code” a novel by Alison Armstrong, in October of 2015, it was like discovering a whole new species of humans.
Goose bumps, tears, and amazement. I immediately enrolled in her eight week online course and threw myself into this ground breaking view of the male gender.
What I discovered, and have kept on discovering, is that a healthy man’s nature is generous, caring, giving … even noble.
Of course there are the “bad” men, the ones we stand up to in the #MeToo movement. I’m proud of the women who have had the courage to take this stand.
But most of the men I encounter are not these “bad” men.
Healthy men are hard-wired to help and protect women, especially women they love and cherish. We just have to learn their language, how they think, what they need from us, and what “drives them nuts.”
The most wonderful thing for a healthy man is to see a happy, smiling, contented woman, and know he caused her happiness.
We just have to understand how men think, what’s important to them and know that they will never behave like a woman. Try this: ask any man for help at the grocery store. Look into his eyes, gently smile, and ask, “Can you help me reach this or find this?” Just try it and observe what happens.
Because I am a teacher, I began teaching the Queen’s Code, using Alison’s book. The course is eight weeks, following the eight chapters of the book.
The material gets more profound for me each time I read it with my class.
During my first read, I burst into tears and apologized to my husband of 21 years. I saw how I had “frog-farmed” him, and the sad results.
Our marriage now is sweeter, more connected than ever. We have a beautiful partnership.
Now, I know how to treat myself as a queen, getting enough rest, not over-extending myself, doing what I love.
Create your own beautiful partnership with your man and yourself.
Join me for my next book club, starting on Monday and continuing through June 11, at the Cedar Ridge Center.
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