All aboard the relation ship
June 23, 2014
No one person can happily and productively exist for very long in solitude. In order to thrive personally and professionally, we need relationships that challenge us and nourish us emotionally, intellectually and physically. To that point, take a minute and assess your current relationships. Do you have enough of them? Do you have the ones that inspire you to be at your best or do they inpire you to settle for less?
Your ship of relations is either floating or sinking. It’s buoyancy is dependent on one thing. Your communication.
The quality of our life is in direct proportion to our ability to effectively communicate with others as well as ourselves. The first person we must master our communication with is ourselves. Albert Einstein has been quoted as saying, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” It’s important to notice what we tell ourselves before we look at something or someone. That nanosecond internal communication will dictate what we then see. The evidence for both friendly and hostile coexists. However, what we experience is based on our internal dialogue in that moment.
If, before you pick up the phone to make a prospecting call, you believe the person on the other line has a lifelong mission to get you off the phone as soon as possible and have you whimpering away with your tail between your legs while questioning your value as a professional, then guess who shows up? The part of you that is aligned with that belief is who shows up. The belief begets the results.
It’s true that life can be messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain and people can be irrational. With all that said, we all have the power to make the choice of how we will show up and be with whatever is going on.
In order to more effectively relate with others, it is imperative for you to favorably relate with yourself. You can do this by remembering you are the SHIP and you are either on an enjoyable voyage or terrible trip; the choice is all yours.
Choose the enjoyable voyage by remembering the word SHIP. Intentionally engage yourself before you engage with others.
Show up in your full potential. Be and do what you are capable of when you are at your best. Is there any real reason not to do your best?
Hold others in their full potential. See them as how they can be when they are doing or being their best.
Intimacy. Be courageous and let others see into you. Also inquire to see into others. This kind of intimacy is inspiring.
Project progress. We live in an ever-expanding universe. All people want to feel that they are growing and becoming more — more successful, more fulfilled, more wealthy, more loving, more healthy, more on purpose, etc. Therefore, before you meet with others, ask yourself, “How can I acknowledge their progress and reflect it back in a way that they will feel received or witnessed?”
We are all on this ship together. Let’s enjoy the ride as we collectively make the tide rise.
Make it up, make it fun and make it happen!
Machen P. MacDonald, CPCC, CCSC is a certified life and strategic business coach with ProBrilliance Leadership Institute in Grass Valley. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and 530-273-8000 or visit http://probrillilance.com.