News
Opinion
ENLARGE
I don’t drink tea unless I’m dying. Put a little honey in it and my wife says tea will cure almost anything.
Unfortunately there seems to be no cure for taxes.
I’ve been thinking a lot about tea and taxes lately. A friend called last week to say he and a pal are heading a statewide Tea Party down in Sacramento, designed to bring attention to the taxes that are suffocating most all of us today. He hopes thousands of Californians will march on the state Capitol April 15 to let lawmakers know they are tired of being nickle-and-dimed to death while government continues to slop at the taxpayer trough.
Tea parties are springing up all over the country, thanks to the speed of viral marketing tools such as Facebook, Twitter and others. It doesn’t take long these days to organize a pretty good-sized party. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this latest movement results in a major third party, something I have been hoping to see for a long time.
I’m sick and tired of the two-party system, which has led to the polarization of millions of Americans caught somewhere in the middle. The Tea Party movement appears to be made up of folks on all sides of the political spectrum. Some are conservatives who don’t like where the Republican Party is headed (Bush was a pretty big spender for a so-called fiscal conservative) and really have no stake in the far religious right, or extreme political views espoused by many GOP leaders. Some are Democrats, who don’t like the smell of the big bank bailouts and proposed auto rescue plans most believe will leave our children with more debt than they will ever be able to handle. Nor are they particularly fond of the extreme left views, which some suggest border on Socialism.
I suppose many of those Tea Party advocates are actually Libertarians, since the guiding principles of that party have very little tolerance for government at any level. I agree with much of those principles, except when it comes to public education. I happen to love the public school system and am appreciative of the education I received in San Francisco and Marin County and for the education my children have received from our wonderful Nevada County schools. My cost for those services has been more than reasonable and my return on that investment satisfactory.
But that’s pretty much where I draw the line. The taxes I’ve been paying for highways, for example, have been a waste. Last time I drove on Highway 101 my teeth rattled so much I had to wear a retainer. And the last time I was in L.A., I gagged for three hours in a traffic jam, entertained only by the spray-painted graffiti on every open space of concrete. Caltrans ought to be outsourced, which might result in six guys per truck rather than the typical seven — one guy to hold the shovel and six to stand and watch. I say that only because I’m jealous. I almost got a Caltrans job 30 years ago and have always wanted to be the guy on the highway holding the stop sign up on Donner Summit. There is a LOT of power in that. “You don’t move until I say you can move!”
Same with the fruit inspection stand up on 80. I was hoping they wouldn’t build another one when they tore down the old one, but they did.
“Where are you coming from?” they ask with my tax money.
“Reno,” I say.
“Got any fruit?”
“Just this banana, but I bought it in California, down at Raley’s,” I answer.
“I also might have a piece of an apple in the back seat. My kids are always leaving their old fruit tucked behind the seats.”
“Okay, go ahead,” the fellow I’m paying for says, waving me through.
If I worked at the inspection station, the questions would be much more difficult.
“Who plays third base for the Giants?”
“What?”
“You heard me. Who plays third for the Giants?”
“What’s that got to do with fruit?”
“Nothing, but if you don’t know who plays for the Giants you need to turn around and go back to Nevada.”
I won’t be satisfied that the state has made the expense cuts it needs to until the state Department of Mattress Inspections has been completely disbanded. I don’t care how many people have to sleep on a dirty mattress, I’m tired of paying a guy $200,000 a year to ensure that every mattress has the California seal of approval.
Same goes for the state Film Commission and its staff of overpaid executives who sit around all day watching movies and eating popcorn.
“Yes. I’d like to make a movie about a lazy, overpaid state administrator who watches movies all day.”
“Do you have a permit?”
“No. But I brought a camera and would like to start shooting now.”
As far as my federal taxes go ...well ... I’d like all of the money back. The last straw for me was the bonus money those AIG guys got with the bailout. I can’t afford new softball shoes, but those guys spend my tax money on lavish parties, with booze, bands and probably pole dancing. “I’m sorry, kids,” I tell my children. “We can’t go to Marysville on vacation this year because they took daddy’s money out of his paycheck to buy a pole at AIG headquarters.”
“What do they need a pole for?” my son asks.
“It doesn’t matter, son. What matters is that you and I will never be able to buy our own pole because they keep raising taxes.”
“I didn’t want to go to Marysville again anyway,” my practical daughter chimes in.
“Can’t we go somewhere fun, like Yuba City?”
At this point it looks like I may head down to Sacramento on April 15 to let anyone who listens know that unless I get a state job immediately ... preferably at the fruit inspection station ... I will scream and shout until the next election, where I will vote them all out of office.
If you want to come down, let me know and I’ll hook you up with the Tea Party folks.
Jeff Ackerman is the editor/publisher of The Union. His column appears on Tuesdays. Contact him at 477-4299, jackerman@theunion.com, or 464 Sutton Way, Grass Valley 95945.
Unfortunately there seems to be no cure for taxes.
I’ve been thinking a lot about tea and taxes lately. A friend called last week to say he and a pal are heading a statewide Tea Party down in Sacramento, designed to bring attention to the taxes that are suffocating most all of us today. He hopes thousands of Californians will march on the state Capitol April 15 to let lawmakers know they are tired of being nickle-and-dimed to death while government continues to slop at the taxpayer trough.
Tea parties are springing up all over the country, thanks to the speed of viral marketing tools such as Facebook, Twitter and others. It doesn’t take long these days to organize a pretty good-sized party. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this latest movement results in a major third party, something I have been hoping to see for a long time.
I’m sick and tired of the two-party system, which has led to the polarization of millions of Americans caught somewhere in the middle. The Tea Party movement appears to be made up of folks on all sides of the political spectrum. Some are conservatives who don’t like where the Republican Party is headed (Bush was a pretty big spender for a so-called fiscal conservative) and really have no stake in the far religious right, or extreme political views espoused by many GOP leaders. Some are Democrats, who don’t like the smell of the big bank bailouts and proposed auto rescue plans most believe will leave our children with more debt than they will ever be able to handle. Nor are they particularly fond of the extreme left views, which some suggest border on Socialism.
I suppose many of those Tea Party advocates are actually Libertarians, since the guiding principles of that party have very little tolerance for government at any level. I agree with much of those principles, except when it comes to public education. I happen to love the public school system and am appreciative of the education I received in San Francisco and Marin County and for the education my children have received from our wonderful Nevada County schools. My cost for those services has been more than reasonable and my return on that investment satisfactory.
But that’s pretty much where I draw the line. The taxes I’ve been paying for highways, for example, have been a waste. Last time I drove on Highway 101 my teeth rattled so much I had to wear a retainer. And the last time I was in L.A., I gagged for three hours in a traffic jam, entertained only by the spray-painted graffiti on every open space of concrete. Caltrans ought to be outsourced, which might result in six guys per truck rather than the typical seven — one guy to hold the shovel and six to stand and watch. I say that only because I’m jealous. I almost got a Caltrans job 30 years ago and have always wanted to be the guy on the highway holding the stop sign up on Donner Summit. There is a LOT of power in that. “You don’t move until I say you can move!”
Same with the fruit inspection stand up on 80. I was hoping they wouldn’t build another one when they tore down the old one, but they did.
“Where are you coming from?” they ask with my tax money.
“Reno,” I say.
“Got any fruit?”
“Just this banana, but I bought it in California, down at Raley’s,” I answer.
“I also might have a piece of an apple in the back seat. My kids are always leaving their old fruit tucked behind the seats.”
“Okay, go ahead,” the fellow I’m paying for says, waving me through.
If I worked at the inspection station, the questions would be much more difficult.
“Who plays third base for the Giants?”
“What?”
“You heard me. Who plays third for the Giants?”
“What’s that got to do with fruit?”
“Nothing, but if you don’t know who plays for the Giants you need to turn around and go back to Nevada.”
I won’t be satisfied that the state has made the expense cuts it needs to until the state Department of Mattress Inspections has been completely disbanded. I don’t care how many people have to sleep on a dirty mattress, I’m tired of paying a guy $200,000 a year to ensure that every mattress has the California seal of approval.
Same goes for the state Film Commission and its staff of overpaid executives who sit around all day watching movies and eating popcorn.
“Yes. I’d like to make a movie about a lazy, overpaid state administrator who watches movies all day.”
“Do you have a permit?”
“No. But I brought a camera and would like to start shooting now.”
As far as my federal taxes go ...well ... I’d like all of the money back. The last straw for me was the bonus money those AIG guys got with the bailout. I can’t afford new softball shoes, but those guys spend my tax money on lavish parties, with booze, bands and probably pole dancing. “I’m sorry, kids,” I tell my children. “We can’t go to Marysville on vacation this year because they took daddy’s money out of his paycheck to buy a pole at AIG headquarters.”
“What do they need a pole for?” my son asks.
“It doesn’t matter, son. What matters is that you and I will never be able to buy our own pole because they keep raising taxes.”
“I didn’t want to go to Marysville again anyway,” my practical daughter chimes in.
“Can’t we go somewhere fun, like Yuba City?”
At this point it looks like I may head down to Sacramento on April 15 to let anyone who listens know that unless I get a state job immediately ... preferably at the fruit inspection station ... I will scream and shout until the next election, where I will vote them all out of office.
If you want to come down, let me know and I’ll hook you up with the Tea Party folks.
Jeff Ackerman is the editor/publisher of The Union. His column appears on Tuesdays. Contact him at 477-4299, jackerman@theunion.com, or 464 Sutton Way, Grass Valley 95945.
