Here are some basic questions about life after 50, ones I've been asked since it got around that I am interested in gerontology - the study of geezer life forms. I'm hoping the answers might help readers who are wrestling with the common issues of aging:

Q: I just turned 50 and got my draft notice from the AARP. I don't like growing older - too many wrinkles. Any advice?

A: Look at it this way. Age is a party you don't want to go to but once you get there, you have a good time. Some report the later years are perpetual recess with no teacher looking on. Frankly, it's great to do what you want after doing what everybody else wanted for 50 or 60 years. And remember, the only way to avoid a new birthday is not to be here anymore. So write this in lipstick on your mirror: Better to be over the hill than under it. Not that I think 50 is over the hill. No age is over the hill if you decide to see life, not as a hill that tops out at 50, but as an interesting journey through many ages and stages. And stop looking at your wrinkles. Seriously. Worrying about wrinkles is like doing housework - not the most interesting way to spend a life.

And don't knock AARP without giving it at least a chance. Visit www.aarp.org for information about a huge variety of subjects interesting to people 50 and over. A sister site, www.aarpmagazine.org, presents articles online in case you didn't finish the AARP magazine in the doctor's waiting room. The AARP organization and its magazine have been stereotyped as fodder for geezers, but they are, in fact, a lot more up to date than the people who don't read them imagine. (Disclaimer: I will have an article in the summer issue of the AARP magazine so I have profited in the low three figures from this association.)

Q: My grandson is having his sixth birthday next month. His parents have hired a clown and a jump house. I'm invited, but don't want to go. Little kids' parties should be for little kids, plus I am already getting hints that a special present is due. It all puts me off. What to do?

A: Some children's parties have gone over the top. It's high living for tiny tots. Grandparents who grew up in the Depression may have trouble with that.

First, if you don't want to go, don't go. You've earned the right to escape torture at the hands of rowdy six-year olds. But please give some kind of a present. Just don't be guilt-tripped into giving more than you want. So, say no nicely to the party or make a cameo appearance, but keep your opinions about the event to yourself. Wet blanketing the occasion is a no-no.

Q: I took early retirement and had a ball relaxing for six months - but now I want more focus in my life. Long ago I wanted to be an artist. Is there a way I could do that now without making a fool of myself?

A: It's only foolish to sit on your dreams. You've gone through a common first stage of retirement - the honeymoon stage - where you enjoyed the release from work as well as many fine napping opportunities. And for those who have been chained to work, retirement may be life's first chance at sustained creativity of all kinds - photography, writing, arts and crafts. The trick is to foster those feelings instead of stifling them as too foolish, too late or too ambitious. Read this excellent guide to discovering your creativity: "The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron." Also, check out the art courses at colleges and recreation programs. Last, make yourself a place at home to experiment. You don't need a loft in Paris. A kitchen table will do. Enjoy.



Mel Walsh is a gerontologist and certifiable geezer. Her book of advice for older women, Hot Granny, is available at The Book Seller in Grass Valley and online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.