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ENLARGE
Jeff Ackerman
My first real introduction (outside of my stellar careers at Jack In The Box and Yummers Roast Beef in San Francisco) to customer service was an eye-opener.
Literally, as in eyeballs opening and closing.
Maybe 28 years ago or so I was working at a newspaper and was in charge of paper boys and girls. In those days, it was OK to hire kids to deliver papers because they hadn't yet been indoctrinated to the notion that the country owed them a living, and their parents actually thought it would be great if the kids paid for their own bicycles, Barbies and baseball cards.
The horror of it all.
One afternoon, a lady called the office to say that one of our paperboys had hit her in the eye with a newspaper, and if I didn't get out to her house "right this minute," she was going to sue me every which way but Sunday, or something like that.
Not wanting to get sued every which way but Sunday, or any other day, I grabbed one of my larger co-workers, jumped into our newspaper truck and hustled over to the woman's house.
We pulled into her driveway, and I marched up to the front door and knocked on the torn screen. A woman opened the door, and my co-worker and I stared, open-mouthed, at the gaping hole in the left side of the woman's head where an eyeball was supposed to be.
"Not that eye, stupid!" she yelled, realizing we were probably thinking she had a pretty good legal case, given the fact that our paper boy had knocked her eyeball clean out of her head with one of our rolled-up Wednesday editions (the one with all the grocery ads). "It's this eye," she continued, pointing to the side that actually had an eyeball in it and a red mark near the eyebrow. "See the red mark the newspaper left near my eye?"
It took me a few seconds to close my mouth and shift my focus from her gaping hole to the red mark above her good eyeball, and when I did, I said, "Sorry about that. Can I give you a free week's subscription to the paper?" Even then I knew about mitigation and the need to act quickly when faced with a customer complaint that could potentially end my career, since I was the one who hired the little paperboy with an arm like Peyton Manning.
"A week?" the woman screamed. "You think a week's subscription will take the pain away?"
"How about a month?" I countered, wanting to get away from the woman and the gaping hole in her head before she noticed me staring again. "I'll credit your account with a free month." She went for the deal and slammed the screen door in my face. I could see why the paperboy pelted her in the face. She probably never tipped.
I was reminded of customer service and how important it is to any business as I was sitting in the back row of Monday's Shop Local kickoff at Sierra Cinemas. It was a great kickoff, and it looks like our community is really coming together to help educate shoppers on the need to spend more of their money on the hill. An estimated 37 cents of every shopping dollar is spent in Auburn, Roseville, Sacramento and beyond.
Most of us know the difference between good and bad service, which is why, even then, I knew it was not a good idea to hit your customer in the eyeball with your product. What we don't talk enough about is the notion that some customers deserve the poor service they get, including a bonk on the head with a newspaper.
That's right. The notion that the customer is always right is just plain wrong. There is a time in every business where you are better off not doing business with a particular customer because it will not end in anything that will make you or your business better.
Take the restaurant business, for example. If you have ever waited tables, you know that one of every 20 or so customers will stiff you no matter what kind of service you provide. And the ones with the most money can be the worst.
"Yes. I'd like the soup and sandwich special you have here, but without the soup and I'd like to substitute the sandwich with a salad, but no lettuce or carrots and if it's not organic, can I have the fajita wrap instead, but with no beans or sauce?"
You stand there with your pad and pencil searching for something to say, but your boss has told you 1,000 times that the customer is always right, so you keep your mouth shut.
"Would you like an iced tea with that?" you simply ask, knowing the cook is going to rip your head off when you turn the order in.
Two hours and 16 demands later (the customer wanted six orders of bread and 13 iced tea refills) you deliver the check for $32.56. The customer fills in the credit card info and adds $2 for the tip, leaving you to wonder what kind of math they are teaching these days.
I happen to be a restaurant's best friend because I will eat whatever they put in front of me, even if it's the wrong order, cold, raw or two hours late (did you know that the term "tip" actually means to insure promptness?).
"How is everything?" the waiter will always ask after delivering the wrong, cold, late stuff.
"Great!" I say, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.
Besides ... it is NEVER a good idea to mess with someone who touches your food. I have worked in kitchens before and, well, let's just say you don't even want to know what goes on back there.
I'm not saying any of this is a reason to treat customers poorly. As they say in promotional materials, the customer pays our bills. But there is a point where you might be better off throwing them out the door and taking the chance that they will tell 11 of their friends, who are probably just as rude as they are, anyway. Rude people run in packs.
Sprint did that not long ago. Tired of the same customers calling and calling and calling and not being able to solve every single problem they had, Sprint sent letters to some of them canceling their service.
"Our records indicate that over the past year, we have received frequent calls from you regarding your billing or other general account information," the letter read. "While we have worked to resolve your issues and questions to the best of our ability, the number of inquiries you have made to us during this time has led us to determine that we are unable to meet your current wireless needs. Therefore, after careful consideration, the decision has been made to terminate your wireless service agreement ..."
I'm not suggesting Sprint was right, of course. But it is interesting that the company determined that some customers will never be satisfied and that it's best to focus resources on better, happier customers.
In the end, if this Shop Local campaign is to be successful, it will require a harmonious relationship between the customer and merchant. And if it means whacking them in the eyeball with a newspaper to get their attention to the need to keep the shopping dollars on the hill, I'm your guy.
ooo
Jeff Ackerman is the publisher of The Union. His column appears on Tuesdays. Contact him at 477-4299, jeffa@theunion.com, or 464 Sutton Way, Grass Valley 95945.
Literally, as in eyeballs opening and closing.
Maybe 28 years ago or so I was working at a newspaper and was in charge of paper boys and girls. In those days, it was OK to hire kids to deliver papers because they hadn't yet been indoctrinated to the notion that the country owed them a living, and their parents actually thought it would be great if the kids paid for their own bicycles, Barbies and baseball cards.
The horror of it all.
One afternoon, a lady called the office to say that one of our paperboys had hit her in the eye with a newspaper, and if I didn't get out to her house "right this minute," she was going to sue me every which way but Sunday, or something like that.
Not wanting to get sued every which way but Sunday, or any other day, I grabbed one of my larger co-workers, jumped into our newspaper truck and hustled over to the woman's house.
We pulled into her driveway, and I marched up to the front door and knocked on the torn screen. A woman opened the door, and my co-worker and I stared, open-mouthed, at the gaping hole in the left side of the woman's head where an eyeball was supposed to be.
"Not that eye, stupid!" she yelled, realizing we were probably thinking she had a pretty good legal case, given the fact that our paper boy had knocked her eyeball clean out of her head with one of our rolled-up Wednesday editions (the one with all the grocery ads). "It's this eye," she continued, pointing to the side that actually had an eyeball in it and a red mark near the eyebrow. "See the red mark the newspaper left near my eye?"
It took me a few seconds to close my mouth and shift my focus from her gaping hole to the red mark above her good eyeball, and when I did, I said, "Sorry about that. Can I give you a free week's subscription to the paper?" Even then I knew about mitigation and the need to act quickly when faced with a customer complaint that could potentially end my career, since I was the one who hired the little paperboy with an arm like Peyton Manning.
"A week?" the woman screamed. "You think a week's subscription will take the pain away?"
"How about a month?" I countered, wanting to get away from the woman and the gaping hole in her head before she noticed me staring again. "I'll credit your account with a free month." She went for the deal and slammed the screen door in my face. I could see why the paperboy pelted her in the face. She probably never tipped.
I was reminded of customer service and how important it is to any business as I was sitting in the back row of Monday's Shop Local kickoff at Sierra Cinemas. It was a great kickoff, and it looks like our community is really coming together to help educate shoppers on the need to spend more of their money on the hill. An estimated 37 cents of every shopping dollar is spent in Auburn, Roseville, Sacramento and beyond.
Most of us know the difference between good and bad service, which is why, even then, I knew it was not a good idea to hit your customer in the eyeball with your product. What we don't talk enough about is the notion that some customers deserve the poor service they get, including a bonk on the head with a newspaper.
That's right. The notion that the customer is always right is just plain wrong. There is a time in every business where you are better off not doing business with a particular customer because it will not end in anything that will make you or your business better.
Take the restaurant business, for example. If you have ever waited tables, you know that one of every 20 or so customers will stiff you no matter what kind of service you provide. And the ones with the most money can be the worst.
"Yes. I'd like the soup and sandwich special you have here, but without the soup and I'd like to substitute the sandwich with a salad, but no lettuce or carrots and if it's not organic, can I have the fajita wrap instead, but with no beans or sauce?"
You stand there with your pad and pencil searching for something to say, but your boss has told you 1,000 times that the customer is always right, so you keep your mouth shut.
"Would you like an iced tea with that?" you simply ask, knowing the cook is going to rip your head off when you turn the order in.
Two hours and 16 demands later (the customer wanted six orders of bread and 13 iced tea refills) you deliver the check for $32.56. The customer fills in the credit card info and adds $2 for the tip, leaving you to wonder what kind of math they are teaching these days.
I happen to be a restaurant's best friend because I will eat whatever they put in front of me, even if it's the wrong order, cold, raw or two hours late (did you know that the term "tip" actually means to insure promptness?).
"How is everything?" the waiter will always ask after delivering the wrong, cold, late stuff.
"Great!" I say, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.
Besides ... it is NEVER a good idea to mess with someone who touches your food. I have worked in kitchens before and, well, let's just say you don't even want to know what goes on back there.
I'm not saying any of this is a reason to treat customers poorly. As they say in promotional materials, the customer pays our bills. But there is a point where you might be better off throwing them out the door and taking the chance that they will tell 11 of their friends, who are probably just as rude as they are, anyway. Rude people run in packs.
Sprint did that not long ago. Tired of the same customers calling and calling and calling and not being able to solve every single problem they had, Sprint sent letters to some of them canceling their service.
"Our records indicate that over the past year, we have received frequent calls from you regarding your billing or other general account information," the letter read. "While we have worked to resolve your issues and questions to the best of our ability, the number of inquiries you have made to us during this time has led us to determine that we are unable to meet your current wireless needs. Therefore, after careful consideration, the decision has been made to terminate your wireless service agreement ..."
I'm not suggesting Sprint was right, of course. But it is interesting that the company determined that some customers will never be satisfied and that it's best to focus resources on better, happier customers.
In the end, if this Shop Local campaign is to be successful, it will require a harmonious relationship between the customer and merchant. And if it means whacking them in the eyeball with a newspaper to get their attention to the need to keep the shopping dollars on the hill, I'm your guy.
ooo
Jeff Ackerman is the publisher of The Union. His column appears on Tuesdays. Contact him at 477-4299, jeffa@theunion.com, or 464 Sutton Way, Grass Valley 95945.
