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According to many wedding planners, the top reasons why couples choose to elope are: to have an affordable wedding; to save time; to maintain their sanity; to have fun; and to have freedom from the norm. Sometimes, eloping -- or running away to get married -- is the only option when a couple faces opposition to the marriage by one or more of the parents due to religious, racial or cultural misconceptions. For those getting married a second time, eloping means they don't have to go through the wedding planning process all over again. The reasons go on and on.
Eloping takes little preparation and is usually a small private wedding with a ceremony restricted to the bride and groom (who may or may not wear wedding attire) and a witness or two. The ceremony is followed by a dinner and a small wedding cake and, of course, a honeymoon. Although elopement typically is a secret, it doesn't have to be. It may or may not include a few close friends and even the couple's parents.
When you choose to elope, you should not be pressured into it, and it should feel right. Here are some important questions to ask yourself before getting on that plane, courtesy of weddinggazette.com, an online wedding planning resource.
Eloping takes little preparation and is usually a small private wedding with a ceremony restricted to the bride and groom (who may or may not wear wedding attire) and a witness or two. The ceremony is followed by a dinner and a small wedding cake and, of course, a honeymoon. Although elopement typically is a secret, it doesn't have to be. It may or may not include a few close friends and even the couple's parents.
When you choose to elope, you should not be pressured into it, and it should feel right. Here are some important questions to ask yourself before getting on that plane, courtesy of weddinggazette.com, an online wedding planning resource.
Q. Will my family be hurt by not being included? And do I care about not having a real wedding?
A. You should consider your family's feelings before money and personal feelings. You may want to call your parents before you make the big leap, just to let them in on the secret. You might also want to include them in your elopement plans if you don't want to have a huge, expensive wedding. Or, perhaps you feel like it would do more harm than good. It's completely your call.
Following getting hitched, there's the issue of announcing that your marriage has occurred. Some couples throw a "reception" or big party after they've wed, which is a great way for family and friends to feel included. Others simply send a card which announces their marriage and their new name, address, etc. A personal note explaining the reasons for eloping is often included to soothe any hurt feelings.
Lastly, most couples who have eloped say that, in the end, you should do what you want to do. After all, it's your marriage and, if you want to do it your way, then so be it. But if you will look back with regret on your decision not to have a traditional wedding, then maybe you can find a way to include others without your wedding day getting out of control.
Q. Can my savings be better spent?
A. "We would rather buy a house than spend all that cash on a wedding that only lasts a few hours!" This sentiment is often expressed by a lot of couples who feel that the unbelievable amount of money spent on a traditional wedding would be better spent on their future. However, eloping is not the only solution. If you still wish to include those closest to you, there are ways to spend a lot less and still have your friends and families there, like holding a backyard wedding or destination wedding where everyone pays their own way. You'll still have expenses, but they may be more in tune with your budget.
If you feel you don't have any other choice but to elope due to financial reasons, think over your decision carefully. You must be at peace with your decision or you might have regrets later on. Express your concerns to family members who may be able to pitch in.
Q. Should we still register and receive gifts, even if we don't have anyone at our wedding?
A. This is a complicated issue because many times people close to you may feel insulted or hurt that you didn't want to include them in your ceremony, but you still want them to buy you gifts. Most etiquette mavens recommend that you not register for gifts, but if you want to have a reception for your family and friends, you are more than welcome to accept any gifts they may bring.
Q. Even if the ceremony is going to be private, can we send announcements letting everyone know we're going to elope?
A. Eloping, by definition, is a secret, unplanned, getaway wedding without anyone's consent. So, if you plan to tell everyone you just want to have a private ceremony, you're actually just having a nontraditional, destination wedding. In that case, announcements are recommended, and gifts are acceptable.
A. You should consider your family's feelings before money and personal feelings. You may want to call your parents before you make the big leap, just to let them in on the secret. You might also want to include them in your elopement plans if you don't want to have a huge, expensive wedding. Or, perhaps you feel like it would do more harm than good. It's completely your call.
Following getting hitched, there's the issue of announcing that your marriage has occurred. Some couples throw a "reception" or big party after they've wed, which is a great way for family and friends to feel included. Others simply send a card which announces their marriage and their new name, address, etc. A personal note explaining the reasons for eloping is often included to soothe any hurt feelings.
Lastly, most couples who have eloped say that, in the end, you should do what you want to do. After all, it's your marriage and, if you want to do it your way, then so be it. But if you will look back with regret on your decision not to have a traditional wedding, then maybe you can find a way to include others without your wedding day getting out of control.
Q. Can my savings be better spent?
A. "We would rather buy a house than spend all that cash on a wedding that only lasts a few hours!" This sentiment is often expressed by a lot of couples who feel that the unbelievable amount of money spent on a traditional wedding would be better spent on their future. However, eloping is not the only solution. If you still wish to include those closest to you, there are ways to spend a lot less and still have your friends and families there, like holding a backyard wedding or destination wedding where everyone pays their own way. You'll still have expenses, but they may be more in tune with your budget.
If you feel you don't have any other choice but to elope due to financial reasons, think over your decision carefully. You must be at peace with your decision or you might have regrets later on. Express your concerns to family members who may be able to pitch in.
Q. Should we still register and receive gifts, even if we don't have anyone at our wedding?
A. This is a complicated issue because many times people close to you may feel insulted or hurt that you didn't want to include them in your ceremony, but you still want them to buy you gifts. Most etiquette mavens recommend that you not register for gifts, but if you want to have a reception for your family and friends, you are more than welcome to accept any gifts they may bring.
Q. Even if the ceremony is going to be private, can we send announcements letting everyone know we're going to elope?
A. Eloping, by definition, is a secret, unplanned, getaway wedding without anyone's consent. So, if you plan to tell everyone you just want to have a private ceremony, you're actually just having a nontraditional, destination wedding. In that case, announcements are recommended, and gifts are acceptable.
Choosing to elope is a personal decision and requires careful thought. It all depends on what you and your partner both want as a couple and how you envision your "dream day."
After living together for 6 years, the birth of a beautiful little girl, owning a home and business together it just seemed like the natural thing to do.
After Jim gave Stacy a beautiful engagement ring, wedding plans began for a cruise to Mexico sometime within the year, then it went to a summer ceremony at Rollins Lake, and suddenly it was decided that a small ceremony at Harvey’s in Lake Tahoe would be the way to go.
So on a Thursday afternoon the decision was made to get married that Saturday. With just a few phone calls, a quick trip to the jeweler to select the groom's ring and to David's Bridal shop the wedding plans were well underway.
The wedding party was given 24 hours notice and told the attire would be black and white.
The bride tried several gowns and of course the last dress tried on was “the dress” - a simple black, tea length gown with a velvet ribbon at the bodice. The matron of honor, Tami McVay, wore a simple black cocktail dress, and the bridesmaids, Rebecca Bosworth, Stacy’s sister in law, wore a black pantsuit with silver accessories, and Kelly Wentz, Stacy’s cousin wore a black evening dress as well.
The Groom, James Hickey, wore a white shirt and black pants, the best men, Jack Hickey, the groom's brother, wore a black shirt and pants, Larry Bosworth, Stacy’s brother, wore a white shirt, blue tie and black pants. Stacy’s brother had the honor of walking Stacy down the aisle and giving her away.
25 friends and family made it to the ceremony with only 24 hours notice. Everyone was thrilled to attend and it was a great time. A reception dinner was held at the hotel. The whole thing went together so quickly and smoothly there wasn’t much time for the usual pre-wedding stress and jitters one experiences when planning a wedding for a year. A summer reception is in the planning stages so that all the friends and family can join in celebrating the marriage.
It may not be the way to go for some. But for Stacy and Jim, this was perfect.
After living together for 6 years, the birth of a beautiful little girl, owning a home and business together it just seemed like the natural thing to do.
After Jim gave Stacy a beautiful engagement ring, wedding plans began for a cruise to Mexico sometime within the year, then it went to a summer ceremony at Rollins Lake, and suddenly it was decided that a small ceremony at Harvey’s in Lake Tahoe would be the way to go.
So on a Thursday afternoon the decision was made to get married that Saturday. With just a few phone calls, a quick trip to the jeweler to select the groom's ring and to David's Bridal shop the wedding plans were well underway.
The wedding party was given 24 hours notice and told the attire would be black and white.
The bride tried several gowns and of course the last dress tried on was “the dress” - a simple black, tea length gown with a velvet ribbon at the bodice. The matron of honor, Tami McVay, wore a simple black cocktail dress, and the bridesmaids, Rebecca Bosworth, Stacy’s sister in law, wore a black pantsuit with silver accessories, and Kelly Wentz, Stacy’s cousin wore a black evening dress as well.
The Groom, James Hickey, wore a white shirt and black pants, the best men, Jack Hickey, the groom's brother, wore a black shirt and pants, Larry Bosworth, Stacy’s brother, wore a white shirt, blue tie and black pants. Stacy’s brother had the honor of walking Stacy down the aisle and giving her away.
25 friends and family made it to the ceremony with only 24 hours notice. Everyone was thrilled to attend and it was a great time. A reception dinner was held at the hotel. The whole thing went together so quickly and smoothly there wasn’t much time for the usual pre-wedding stress and jitters one experiences when planning a wedding for a year. A summer reception is in the planning stages so that all the friends and family can join in celebrating the marriage.
It may not be the way to go for some. But for Stacy and Jim, this was perfect.
